Awaken, O Heart - Original Oil Painting

"Awaken, O Heart" is a two pigment composition while meditating on this phrase while painting. In experiencing TSW, it feels like a death to your identity in so many ways. Overnight, access to the things that brought you joy are no longer accessible. Reality of the condition takes precedence over every minute detail that it's impossible to escape. Wearing only cotton, saying no to a walk because the wind feels like ants across your skin, losing your eye brows, finding it impossible to hold a pen and write a note due to the risk of the cracked skin getting blood on the paper...your heart learns to wait, then cry, and wonders if ever what was could ever be, again. This piece hallmarks the transition in the beauty and pain from birth. What has felt dead has come alive: what appears black was actually a dark blue...light was always there.

-- Further Backstory -- 

This abstract collection was born after enduring six years of topical steroid addiction and withdrawal syndrome, which was so severe that it prevented me from painting that entire time. When I sat down to create for the first time, I wanted to paint impressionist landscapes, and other light hearted subjects like horses, which had always captured my attention. Instead, I was hit with with "what could have been" and "what should have been" both as an artist, and personally. Where would I be if I had those six years to hone my skills?

This series began the abstract section in my portfolio, and the choice of pigments was intentional. Working with the raw nature of the canvas as the white source, I used a medium and one or two pigments throughout this collection while creating a texture which commemorated the broken, fissured skin I experienced in this season. Grief was unexpected. Yet, as the emotions swelled, I would take a word or phrase and meditate on it while painting. This became the title for each work in the abstract collection.


Important Note: If purchased, the painting will be available at the CCA Gallery location. 
111 W Main St #135, Carmel, IN 46032
Shipping is available within the continental U.S. for an additional fee.

24"x24"x1.5" 
Oil on Canvas
March 2024